Each year for the last hundred years, or so, Santa has had to choose amongst the mass-produced toys that are available to children. Why? Because those darned elves got lazy right after the French Revolution, and once the suffrage movement reared it's head…. Well, Santa's goose was cooked. Industrialization isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Now, as you probably already knew, Santa has to buy most of his toys from other manufacturers. Oh, sure, the elves still churn out the high-end stuff, carved hobby-horses, wooden dolls, crystal magnifying globes and the like, but most of it comes from the really big manufacturers. Union rules really put a crimp in the mandatory overtime we used to have.
And, given Santa Joe's own experience, I suspect you don't have the time you used to have to whittle a toy train for your little girl or boy. Thus, I would like to suggest a few items for you to consider. Most importantly, make sure the gift shows you love the child. Second, get a spare to give to Toys-For-Tots. Those kids need you too, and Santa Joe guarantees it will make you feel good just doing it.
As a general guideline, toys don't have to be expensive to be fun. I'm sure the hoary old chestnut about the kid playing with the box long after the toy was forgotten has some basis in reality. Santa Joe's own list of toys to deliver is pretty extensive, but he always tries to follow some basic guidelines in choosing gifts. They are provided below:
- The toy must be safe! No choking hazards, no sharp edges, nothing explosive. Check for loose buttons, eyes, buckles, springs, small parts, things that can break or suffocate. Plastic bags are not toys for a reason, and some toys belong in plastic bags. Make sure that children will not become entangled in the toy's parts or cords/ropes/strings. Be safe. If it's dangerous to your Uncle Mortie, it's probably a bad choice for your toddler. The box will let you know if it's "age appropriate." (Santa Joe's not P.C., but he hates to throw money away on stuff that isn't right for a child's level of play.)
- Keep electricity to a minimum. Springs and batteries are the preferred power source. It's pretty hard to get a bad shock from a "c" battery, but kids will find a way to get anything with an electrical cord into the tub given enough time.
- The toy must challenge their mind. Boring toys are bad toys. A toy that does it all for the child is boring. One that requires their interaction and interest is a toy that will be played with for years to come. IF IT MAKES THEM THINK, IT WON'T STINK!
- It's ok for a child to be an "egg-head." If they would like a science toy, or a collection of short-stories, or even a cd-rom with brain teasers on it, that's the gift for them. Opening a doorway in their mind is a great way to open a gateway into their heart. Love is helping others be themselves.
- Action toys are fun! Your Barbie or G.I. Joe was a treasured toy. Your child will like it too. Lots of options out there these days to choose from, find one you like and the odds are good junior will like it too!
- Teenagers like stuff too! Forget the sweater they won't wear. Eschew the gift certificate. If they use Dad's curling iron every morning, get them one of their own! Tired of them borrowing your portable CD-player? Check out the selection at the electronics store! MP3 players are cheap, robust and what the teens really want (CD, yuck, it's so... 2004!)
- Pets are a bad choice. Santa Joe's got great doggies and he loves them very much. But puppies, kittens and birds aren't toys. They are living creatures that need your love and attention. If you want to have a pet as a family, that's great. But boxing a kitty under the tree is generally not a good idea. (Even with air-holes.)
So, now you've been subjected to Santa Joe's philosophizing and still don't know what to get? Here are some gifts for specific age groups that you can grab from the shelf and not have to think too hard about:
Infants & Toddlers (top)
If it's stuffed or made by Fisher Price and Playskool, it's a good choice. Just check rule #1 to make sure it fits into the right grouping. If you know mom & dad, you can find out what they need. After all, who needs 3 strollers with storks on the sunshade?
Kids 4-8 (top)
Hot Wheels gift Pack (Mattell®) At about a buck a car, you can go wild and really thrill your youngster with a pile of cars. Be the best darned Aunt on the block with 20 different cars in a carry bag ( the bag's about $9 at Target®) for under $30.00!
Tinker-Toy Classic Jumbo Set (Hasbro®) If this doesn't fire up some brain cells, the next one surely will. At only $30.00 you have unlimited hours of creative fun on the horizon.
Lincoln Logs Wild West Ranch (K'Nex®) Same concept, but bulkier! Lincoln Logs are fun for everyone, limited only by imagination and floor space. Again, About $30.00 at most retailers.
Etch-A-Sketch (Ohio Art®) Man, you can sink your teeth in with this one, and it comes in cool, new colors. If your child doesn't like it, give it to your boss as a notebook computer. He'll probably need help rebooting it where your child won't. And, it's only about $10.00.
Barbie (Mattel) Well, Santa Joe never had one, but judging from the number of them that go through the warehouse every year, every little girl in the nation has one. The price varies widely, they come in all sorts of colors and activity regimes. If you can't find a Barbie that meets your child's fancy, you didn't try very hard.
Kids from 8-12 (top)
Things are a little harder here, and you generally need to know a little bit about what the youngster likes to do. But, when you're just flat out of ideas, try these:
First, here's the "No-way-Santa-Jose" list
1. Karaoke sets
2. Drums
3. Swords
4. Pugil Sticks
5. Armored Vehicles (the toys are ok, just not the real thing).
If you avoid those, it's a good start.
Now, for some better picks:
Leap Frog ™ It's a wide range of educational toys that are fun and a great choice for a school-age kid that needs a leg up on learning. Santa Joe's played with a few of these and was impressed. The prices range quite a bit, and are a bit more expensive than other gifts at the high-end. But, when you want your child to prosper intellectually ( big phrase that means you love your kid) these toys are fun and educational. There are also toys for the younger crowd from this company. You won't go wrong.
Kids Watches Wow! Santa Joe wants at least three of these children's sports watches for himself. Not only are they working watches that help inculcate a sense of time and responsibility in a child, but they come with cool colors, great styling and games built in! Ranging from $20 to $30, they are excellent gifts for the youngster on the go.
Trivial Pursuit ® (Winning Moves) Before you know it, your child will make you feel even more inadequate than you currently feel. This is a good brain mixer that allows the best of your child's intellect show itself. $20.00 at most retailers.
Twelve to Sixteen (top)
Hoo, Boy… you have bigger problems than gifts if you are asking Santa Joe for help with this age group.
Rules of thumb change here:
1. Electronics good.
2. Gender specific a must.
3. When in doubt, get them a basketball.
Ok, not enough, eh? How about:
- Curling Irons and beauty supplies. This doesn't mean breaking out the Avon catalogue and picking at random, nor should you bust the platinum card at the local beauty supply store. But, with some help from the child's parent you can pick some nice stuff the girl needs and wants. Hair holding devices, brushes, curling irons, makeup and lipstick are going to be winner's here. If it's for a child you don't know well, or an anonymous gift (Like the donation you make to Toys-For-Tots), go with a gift-set or a curling iron. Everybody wins.
- Personal Stereos & MP3 players. No gender rule here, just don't pick one with a free "boy band" CD if it's for your nephew Thor. Then again… At any rate, kids will like this gift, because even if they have one, another will come in handy when they destroy the first one. Santa Joe knows this for a fact, because the reindeer help him break 3 or 4 each year, and a back-up is nice to have.
- Sports equipment. Most kids will appreciate a quality basketball or bike or air-hockey set, or whatever. Key word is QUALITY. Kids spot junk a mile away.
- Handheld electronic games. Yes, it's still what most teens want. The variety is endless and you can have fun picking them out yourself!
- Trivia games, books, and magazine subscriptions. Yes, once again appealing to the child's mind. Get them something they will enjoy for the next year. You don't have to like it for them to enjoy it. But, keep in mind, they are growing up and will appreciate your nod to their maturing mind.
- Theater tickets. Get them a book of theater tickets so they can go to the movies without having to scratch up cash. Most chains offer a good package that includes a drink and a snack. And, when you pack them off to the movies, have some fun on your own time. House is quiet, kids are gone… or, buy yourself a book of certificates as well.
- Sleeping bags. Yes, even if they never get closer to the woods than the local park, it's a handy item when going traveling, visiting relatives or just a cold night when an extra blanket is helpful
Well, I hope this provokes some thought for you, or at least bails you out of your vapor locked stupor at the mall. In any event, have a Merry Christmas.
And, please don't forget to get an extra gift for Toys-For-Tots. Those kids need you too. May I recommend a personal stereo and a basketball?
Love,
Santa Joe